Chapter 19c: The Legend of Primenet Com

(A Special Halloween through St. Patrick's Day Chapter)

he sudden light blinded Helen, and she quickly shielded her eyes with her hand. She crouched in that position, frozen, for the moments until her eyes became used to the glare; after a few seconds, still squinting, she lowered her hand and reached into the freezer. Rummaging through the anonymous foil-wrapped packages, she found her pocketbook near the far corner of compartment. It had been many months since she had seen it, and she was somewhat surprised to discover that she wouldn't have recognized it for her own. "Got it," she said.

A newbie scurried by and nearly knocked the handbag away from her as she found her way back to her seat in the small shop. Rob was in the seat next to her, fast asleep, sporting a four-months-old growth of beard. She kicked him, and he awoke with a jolt.

"Whu-what?"

"He's talking again."

"Who?"

"The shopkeeper, remember? That gaunt-looking guy telling us the Halloween story?"

Rob looked blank. Helen sighed. "Rob, think for a---"

Two newbies babbled past, quoting long stretches of past conversations. Helen waited until they had wandered out the door.

"Rob, think for a second. We came in here back in October. Everyone else is---" Another newbie interrupted her, squealing something about finally finding a song with his name in the title. Helen kneed him, and the newbie dropped to the ground. The squeal continued, without changing tone. Helen continued.

"Everyone else is down by the Hall of Fame, and we just took a side street to get away from the mob scene. This guy - " She motioned toward the shopkeeper, who hadn't been able to get a word in edgewise in this narrative so far. " -began telling us a story about The Legend of Primenet Com. Remember Nickabod Crane? Flamenka Van---"

"Van Tassel! I remember! Jesus, the Halloween story? It's been, what, four months? And he's finally going to finish it?"

"If you don't keep interrupting me," said the shopkeeper in a hollow, sepulchral voice.

"We won't! We'll do anything! We won't even breathe! Just FINISH THE DAMNED STOR---"

"Does Micky ever come here?" interrupted the newbie on the floor. "I heard that sometimes he---" Before Helen could stomp him, another newbie darted out from under the freezer. "Hi! I got a copy of 'Who's Got The Button?', how much is it---" Suddenly a swarm of the critters flooded out from the cracks in the floor.

"What's all this about speedos?"

"When's the next album coming out?"

"They're not that old. Why do they look so old?"

"I'm under 25 what's with that stuff about
under 25-year-old people talking too much
without saying anything I'm under 25 oh wait
I already said that well I do SO have a clue and
if I want to post ten times a day then that's MY
business so anyhow what's all this about
Speedos---"

The gaunt shopkeeper picked up the phone. "Exterminators, please," he intoned.